Parental Alienation Awareness

 

We all strive very hard and very painfully to bring about International #PASAwareness on a daily basis. Through our continued events of #LightaCandle from the past to create our #PASCollages, to the new event coming up 1st to the 25th December in the #PASTreeofLove #PASBauble we fight to spread awareness and support each other through the very deep pain of being alienated from our children and grandchildren!

Seeing how many were negatively reacting to the program on BBC2 @VictoriaLive in itself was painful to read but I have to say not from my followers or Twitter from what I managed to read. It all seemed to be coming via that other social media site!!

Parental Alienation is not a new form of child abuse; it has been happening for decades, it just didn’t have a name then. #PA is not gender specific either as anyone can see from the #PASSisters on my account who are also victims of a #PASAbuser and in many cases entire families of #PASAbusers setting out to totally destroy the relationship of a vulnerable child and their parent and maternal or paternal family. In my case it is both maternal and paternal families alienated from my daughter.

You certainly don’t have to be a resident parent to use the child abuse of #PA on your child. Many will use #PA at contact, trying to use the child to hurt the other parent. How is this ever going to be doing the right thing for your child?

Putting the child first is paramount! It is not a competition and children will eventually grow up, mature and seek answers. How would you want them to view you when they look back on their childhood, will they proudly say “Dad/Mum, you always put me first!” This does not include telling a child you are protecting them from a monster; in the so many ways alienators do, because the only monster in an alienated child’s life is the #PASAbuser! Sometimes both parents are guilty of #PA and I cannot imagine how terrible the adult children now feel knowing neither parent could put their welfare before their own selfish desire for control, spread their hate and to inflict harm!

#PASAwareness is about getting to the general public and the mild abusers of #PA to try to turn things around for the good of the children. Unconditional Love does not abuse!

Two thirds of the @VictoriaLive programme focused on the Father as the abuser, typical of the BBC but from my perspective I thought it was a bold move. Showing Mothers can also be victims of #PA highlights #PA because the vast majority of the show’s audience will have been women and grandparents. The viewers must now be thinking about #PA and how it affects children. This can only be a step in the right direction, be it ever so tiny! Like I said, it would take hour long programmes daily to even scratch the surface of parental alienation and the tactics used to brainwash innocent children.

The saddest thing for me was to see the gender bashing going on, luckily the majority I am told came from that other site and the reason I don’t have an account on there!  One person’s pain is no greater than another who is a victim of #PA. Losing your child to #PA is like having a piece of your heart ripped out and a part of your soul missing. #PASSisters would be the first to say it affects Dads more than Mums but that balance is changing and our #PASCommunity of #PASSisters continually support so many Dads in the same situation and we will continue to support them in return.

Not surprisingly on the @VictoriaLive programme, known serious #PASAbusers trying yet again to justify the abuse they have inflicted onto their own children/step-children! As always, clutching at fragments of straws about just one misquoted professional of #PAS. For someone who seems to be obsessed with this aspect it makes you wonder. I remember another #ChildAbuser and #PASAbuser making such disgusting references in the past and we will see in February how that turned out!  My question will always be is the child having positive contact with both maternal and paternal families? If not, why not? Children do not make decisions to reject their loving parent without serious brainwashing. Children do not naturally hate a loving parent or grandparent. Abusive alienated children are parroting the #PASAbusers for various reasons.

The #PASAwareness the show brought is another step closer to ending the child abuse of #PA Sadly we are a long way from the general public being aware of this child abuse but every little helps.

The awareness we strive for is not as elusive as it once was, thanks to the continual support of #PASBrothers and #PASSisters and for the continual creative hard work of @PAS_Amanda in creating the Picture Posts.

Put your children first and don’t allow hate to control your ability to be a good parent.

Together we are stronger!

Please join us between 1st and 25th December and tweet or email me your #PASBauble and show your support for all alienated children and their families this Christmas! Everyone is welcome to join in. Be a part of the new #PASCollage!

My wish for Christmas every year is for all the alienated children; teens and adults out there to find it in their heart to want to reunite with their loving family. They will find an open heart, an open door and unconditional love!

@fatherscontact

http://www.fatherscontact.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Fragments of Memories of my Alienated Daughter

When the final court ordered contact took place I was meant to have 10 minutes at the changeover of my sons seeing their sister to reintroduce me to my alienated daughter.

The PASAbuser had clearly told her lies about the contact order and that it was just for her to see her brothers. The Judge and Guardian thought it would be a good idea to use the lads relationships with their sister to help her reconnect to me. This fact I was not happy with but felt I had no choice but to try it.  They had not considered the seriously dangerous force of the PASAbuser to destroy any hope of success. It was meant to allow her to get to know me.

However, unknown to me then, her mother had started the serious PASAbuse and had worked out a plan my daughter had to follow, but on the first of the contacts she had got stuck in traffic. I remember how my daughter was looking at me with absolute curiosity, smiling at times and engaging in the conversation with her brothers, she was clearly not recognising the monster her mother had filled her head with.

She was constantly looking around to see her mother to implement her mothers orders but what I saw was a fragile mind confused with the situation she was faced with. Not a monster, but a kind and loving Dad standing in front of her. The Daddy she had lost, the one whose hair she had remembered, and maybe somewhere in her fragile memories she was remembering being ripped from my loving arms screaming “I want my Daddy!” She was seeing the unconditional love shared between her brothers and her alienated Dad. Sadly, this was to be the one & only time I saw her.

Her mother’s plan was for my daughter to run off back to her mother before I arrived to pick the lads up from the meeting point! This was where we were meant to have 10 minutes for her to get to know me and feel comfortable with me with her brothers. The courts had put such a burden on the lads to reconnect their sister with me, her Dad.

Their mother did nothing but abuse all three children at these contacts along with her then ‘child abuser’ boyfriend! More on him later!

The courts really had no idea just how evil the PASAbuser was and still is!

Sometimes memories just enter your head and stop you dead in your tracks!

 

 

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Eldest Step-Son’s Student Finance

Eldest Step-Son’s Student Finance

It has taken a while to be able to write this blog post. Mainly because we wanted to give his mother the opportunity to do the right thing by her son. Sadly this was not to be!

In his first year at university FC completed his eldest son’s student finance as his resident Dad. Then his mother started abusing him with PAS and passing on disgusting messages through her Twitter buddies not knowing they were being passed straight on to me.

The lies were horrendous and lost eldest step-son almost a year of his family. Thank god for youngest step-son as he intervened and asked his brother about the lies being said. His brother was shocked and upset these things had been said about him and asked his brother to help him put things right. As you know youngest step-son and I organised a surprise for FC on Christmas Eve of his eldest son coming home for Christmas.

We have all repaired the strong bonds we have always shared with his eldest son. He has grown up and matured into a lovely young man in the year he was absent from our lives only in a physical sense, as him and his Dad and brother have always stayed in contact via telephone throughout.

So getting back to his student finance, his PAS abusing mother convinced him to change his finance over to her name saying he would get more money if he did. What teenager doesn’t want more money? Well we were led to believe it had taken her nearly a year to get the forms right. This we found out was not the case. She never did get them right and Student Finance gave up on her and sorted it as he was an independent student. So in fact she had created a year of financial stress and got him into debt for her own incompetence and yet she tells everyone she has A levels. Having checked the records myself during the court case for contact with FC’s little girl, she certainly does not have A levels.

Well he has been asking her to do the student finance forms for 2015/16 for over 10 months and she has continually lied and conned him into believing she had done them. Of course she hadn’t! No money in his bank and getting into a very stressful situation again he kept saying he would give her one more week. Weeks quickly turn into months and because he came home for Christmas she ignored his countless phone calls and texts as a punishment. She was tweeting constantly during the time he was desperate to get hold of her. When he finally got hold of her she just lied and then emotionally abused him by saying “All you are interested in is the money, you are not interested in me!” Yes of course he needs his money to pay his rent, bills and food. Basics of life not luxuries!

Yesterday we got a phone call from him and he said he had had people at the house demanding money so it forced him to deal with it. He rang student finance and they told him to get his Dad to do it and told him his mother had never ever managed to fill in the forms correctly or send in the necessary paperwork anyway and they had eventually just assessed him as an independent student in the last academic year.

Well step-son sent us the link, we filled it in and it was posted registered post to arrive before 1pm today within 40 minutes! So now he will at least get his finance through as soon as they can process it.

As for his serious PAS abusing mother, well she is under a full investigation through Social Services and the police due to her connections with a child abuser who is awaiting trial at crown court. We will wait to see how that turns out. A custodial sentence would be justice.

It all makes sense now why she suddenly went back to her ex-husband after her Twitter boyfriend ended their relationship. This was just as her ex-husband was about to go to court to get full custody of her youngest two daughters due to PAS abuse and neglect. We were about to help him do that through court. This was another man she had made false allegations of domestic violence about! There is a very long history of her disgusting behaviour and lies!

FC’s daughter is still 100% alienated and 100% aligned with her mother but I do think as she gets older and more mature she will want to have contact with her brothers again and she will discover the truth and want to put that right. I suppose it all depends whose heart and DNA she really has. If she has her Dad’s sweet and precious heart she will come looking and if she doesn’t then her life will be missing a fantastic family. I am afraid that will be her loss.

 

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How a mother can behave in this way is beyond my comprehension! By FCFiancee

I am starting this blog post in tears. I am so angry and find it impossible to understand how anyone can behave the way FC’s PAS and DV abuser behaves towards her own children.
My youngest step-son is a truly beautiful young man and yet she has never wanted anything to do with him, she has never made any attempt to see him despite having free access anytime. Yet she goes off for weekends with her Twitter acquaintances on a whim. She buys cards and gifts then sends them to total strangers off Twitter. She has never once sent her son a card, let alone a gift.

Eldest step-son was persuaded by her to change his student finance from his Dad to her in his second year at university, purely in an attempt to remove his Dad from his life. It took her nearly a year to get it right. He got into all sorts of financial difficulties because of her. It eventually got sorted out. This academic year she should have signed and sent the form back in the summer. This would have meant it was there ready for him to get in September when he signed in for his third year. Of course she hadn’t done it and continued to lie to him saying she had. He kept asking her time and time again to do it. It got to Christmas and he telephoned her again to ask her if she could please sign it and send it back. He then told her he was coming home for Christmas and she went bat shit crazy! Crying, screaming, shouting, blackmail; the whole lot, but he stood his ground and told her it was not about her it was about him wanting to see his Dad and family. She told him his Dad was just doing it to destroy her and to get back at her. This was a light bulb moment for him because he knew his Dad had no idea he was coming home for Christmas! As you all know FC had absolutely no idea his son was coming home for Christmas, it was in fact his third and final pre-Christmas surprise. His son has not heard from his mother since! He has text and telephoned constantly with no response to any communications whatsoever!

How can a mother do this to her child? Leave him with no student finance. No food, no rent money for his accommodation, nothing! Then I find out she did not even send him a card or present for his 21st Birthday. This is a woman who attempted to make cards for a living. Tomorrow his Dad will fill in the forms once again for him to get his finance through. He has struggled through the last 18 months but he now has his family back and he will no longer have to worry about anything other than studying for his degree.

I am now going to sit and write some of my recipes out for him and order the food to be delivered to his student house. Life is hard enough as a student without the worry of finances and living costs. I cannot comprehend how any mother can do this to her own child purely out of spite. Anyone would think she was paying it out of her own pocket! She had obviously realised she could use it to control him when she convinced him to change it from his Dad to her in his second year at university and she tried to use it against him when he decided to come home for Christmas.

She has abused his daughter her entire life and continues to do so even though his daughter has yet to realise just how and why. One day she will in fact realise and when she does she can start the process of healing and get back the very strong bond her and her fantastic Dad once shared before she was so painfully kidnapped screaming “I want my Daddy!” All she has to do now is talk to her two wonderful brothers and her maternal Grandparents. They have supported FC throughout and they continue to fully support their Grandsons. They love and miss their three Granddaughters; FC’s daughter and her two younger half sisters, but they hold onto hope one day they will knock on their door.

We also now know for certain this disgusting PAS abusing mother has in fact told his daughter the disgusting lies she wrote in her ‘Blog of Lies’ but she thinks it’s okay as she has only indirectly told her in the car and within close proximity and earshot. This in her abusive world is not the same as telling her face to face! How can a mother live with herself knowing her extremely vulnerable daughter is walking around with these disgusting lies in her very fragile mind!

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What No Christmas cards!

Every year since I met my amazing Fiancé (FC) I have never known their mother buy my fantastic step-sons a Birthday or Christmas present. The boys confirm this and say she has never sent them anything apart from the very first year they left to live with their Dad, some 12 years now. This year has seen no exception and then to get told she had sent a Twitter friend a card and earrings was astonishing.

In the Summer we sent his alienated daughter a huge box full of presents and cards as we always have done for her. These were to open at her ex step-grandparents house after her birthday. We also had a cake and balloon delivered on the day anonymously so as not to cause his daughter distress on her actual birthday. These presents included a laptop amongst many other thoughtful gifts. We were told she did not want them but she still kept them! So this year we decided to put money away for her instead but we let her know that was what we were doing so she did not think we were ignoring her.

All my step-sons want is to have a positive relationship with their mother and sisters without being abused but sadly she just cannot manage that. It is all about control and trying to destroy FC and his relationships with his sons.

It amazes me as I have known some serious PAS abusers in my time but she takes the award for the worst one ever. One day FC’s daughter will see the abuse she has suffered being ripped from his loving arms and lost into a false existence within a controlling environment. All she needs to do is talk to her fantastic brothers to have her loving Dad back in her life. She; like all truly alienated children think it is their choice, but maturity will open that crazy book for her to read and one day repair when she is reunited with her fantastic Dad.

It has also made me wonder if the recipient of the gift their mother sent it to considers this abuse of these three innocent children! I feel sure she certainly does as I know she is a very kind person.

All their mother has to do is let go of the hate and be a decent person she so readily tries extremely hard to portray she is. Allow the children to have a relationship with not only their Dad and brothers but with her own Mother and Father, their maternal grandparents. They also desperately miss their grandchildren having been alienated from the girls since they supported FC through court. A very brave and noble thing for maternal grandparents to do in my experience especially knowing they would not see their grandchildren again knowing the threats their daughter had made over the children’s lifetimes to keep them under her abusive control through the fear of never seeing their grandchildren again.

Maybe ex step-dad could take FC’s daughter and his own two daughters over to see them. Make the time as you did when you were trying to show her ex Twitter boyfriend how she was a decent person allowing them to see the girls, all for show of course as they have not seen them since.

Why does she never consider the emotional damage she is doing to these children? The Summer saw youngest reunited with his sister after two more years kept apart and their strong bond was evident to see in the photographs but then their mother posted like a knife into his very kind heart, how the highlight of her Summer was meeting this particular Twitter acquaintance. How can a mother be so cruel? It is beyond my comprehension.

Spending Christmas alone without any of her children has not made her consider her behaviour and I have come to the conclusion she never will. Some people are just not capable of seeing, it is not all about them.

No matter how she tries to portray things on Twitter we know the truth and far more than she even knows, but all will become evident soon.

A final message to you their mother: The door is always open and we would welcome moving forward for the children’s sake.

FCFiancee

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All emails and the administration are done by FC Fiancee

All emails and the administration are done by FC Fiancee

My job is to protect FC from any unwanted or abusive emails associated with the website, Twitter account or Blog posts and to alert him to anything he needs to have sight of. Some things he will not see for his own emotional protection and that is my judgement.

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Protected: The door is firmly closed for now by FC Fiancee

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