Please understand I did not know the extent at what she had told people for a long time and mostly not until eldest went to my Fiancee with the blog she had written apart from a few things along the way when eldest had seen his mother.
Neighbours and her friends would treat me as if I was a monster to be avoided. I just thought they were rude! She was telling neighbours I locked her in the house during the day but they contacted me after we split up to tell me what she had been saying to everyone! Also to tell me about her affairs and her abusive behaviour with the children. Telling me my daughter would be better off with me and the lads! They were right!
When my eldest was 10 she told him all the disgusting lies!
She told him and we now know this is what she told my daughter to stop her wanting to see me that I raped her while she was breastfeeding her. She also told them I smashed a glass over her head and went to the knife drawer to get a knife to kill her. She has told them of many things similar to this but you get the idea! Telling my daughter this was to stop her wanting to see me. It worked parental alienation at its most evil.
When I was 15 a girl at school gave me her number on a piece of paper. I never rang it. But my ex went through my bedroom contents and found it 4 years later. She gave me hell and I mean hell. She would not listen and it should have been a warning to me.
Friday night was lads night but that had to stop as she came round to my mum and dad’s house and said she would wait for me to come back. I tried to say it was lads night out but she would not take no for an answer. I felt so guilty that night I never went out again with the lads without her in tow!
This was then told as I locked her in my bedroom while I went off with other women!!
I went to see my mum and dad when we had just the eldest as they were not allowed round to our home. my ex hated them. She would not allow them near the children because they smoked. I was going to see them as my mum was ill and eventually died from cancer. My ex told me if I was going there then I should not come back and to stay there the night as she did not want me coming back smelling of smoke. I did stay in my old bedroom that night and my life was made a living hell for weeks after and I never went back again. I would have to sneak around to be able to see my family except my brother who was allowed round all the time. Now I know why!!
This was later told as I would go off with other women, come back at all hours and sometimes not come back!
My car was stolen once and a woman from work gave me a lift as I was walking to work and when I told my ex she went crazy and I had to walk to work and refuse the lift even though it was and hour and a half walk to work.
She would go through my phone, my wallet, my pockets constantly looking for something that she was never going to find. I realise now this is what people do when they are guilty of the very same behaviour as they are accusing you of.
I have never cheated and never would cheat. I have very high morals.
My ex was searching the internet, going out into town looking for men. She would keep eldest off school and even take him out of school when I was at work so he could babysit his siblings so she could go off with men. Leaving him scared at home to babysit telling him she would not be long! She told eldest last year he had not remembered it right and she had to keep him at home as I did not earn enough money to get food for them for school lunch!!! He was old enough to remember.
Both lads remember incidents of domestic violence towards me and know it was 100% one sided. I was never allowed to talk to anyone not even my family. My mum never met my daughter and she died when she was between 2 and 3 years old. When I used to take my mum to chemo and radiation treatments she would rant at me and make me feel guilty for not being at the house with the kids.
You must understand I regret ever being abused in these ways but when you are in a DV relationship you do not see straight until it is removed.
She talks about the allegations she wrote on the back of the divorce papers as if they are proof! The solicitor said to me when I refused to sign them “You are agreeing to the divorce nothing else” so I signed them to get her out of my life. She was pregnant at the time with her 4th and wanted to get married but it took until she was pregnant with her 5th to force him to marry her. When I questioned her about the allegations she had written she laughed and said the solicitor told her to make it as bad as possible or have to wait 2 years to get divorced. I said there is no way I am signing them and said “You were the one forcing me to have sex” her reply was laughing “I don’t remember you complaining that much!”
I hope this gives you an idea of the level of jealousy she shows and the lengths she will go to.
I want to end this by saying I was guilty of one thing and I used to think this was the reason behind her extreme behaviour. I never loved her and always felt she had taken my life and destroyed it, but I now know she has serious personality problems and would have behaved this way no matter what and for me the damage she has done would have been far worse if I had loved her!
I survived and so will my children in the end.