Lost Hope For Now!
My last blog ‘Lost Hope’ was very sombre, so I would just like to add a few things,
Although the Hope I had is lost, it is only for now!
I am just trying to understand the world and be realistic, the hope I did have was always comforting, but was unrealistic, and to have a clear perspective of life and emotion you have to be true,
Pas abusers live in a fantasy world, which is how they justify their behaviour, but it is a fantasy! They convince themselves that they are perfect people, that have been wronged, and have to do what they know is wrong in their hearts for the good of the child, that is why they make up all the lies and accusations, because how can someone justify to themselves the evilness of ruining an innocent child’s life.
When I think about this and my own experience I understand that the pas abuser will live an empty destructive life, that is the way of the world, it has to balance, and as they lie to themselves to justify the evil they do, their life will always be sad,
I do not think you should hate anyone, as it only breeds sadness, but it is hard when you know a person has not only intentionally acted to hurt you, but intentionally hurt the children that you cherish.
So, do I hate the person that has caused my children so much pain! No, because I have no feelings whatsoever for her, I despise the behaviour but understand that this person is mentally damaged, and will live a life empty, constantly wanting what she will never have.
I love my daughter and remember her as that small child that adored her father, So, I have lost hope that she will one day run into my arms as her Dad, and I will now always be a distant memory, deep in the back of her mind. But one day who knows, she may come looking for that spark she feels deep in her soul.