This subject has been on my mind since the first time I picked up a book on Parental Alienation. Children and adults affected and damaged by the abuse of one parent who cannot put the child first no matter what! Can a child recover from the #PASAbuser treating them as a weapon, a toy they do not care if they break. We live in a throwaway society and #PASAbused children are treated as such. The moment the child considers that what they have been told through all the #PASAbuse years may not be true and then get definitive proof their life has been a lie. This must be so devastating for them. Their life has been abused by the very person who is meant to love and protect them! Their ‘Step-Dad’ is not really their Dad and their real Dad has lived in a deep depression since they lost their child to a #PASAbuser. I believe this kind of depression often referred to as a ‘Living Bereavement’ is something that cannot be truly lifted until their child returns into their life. We have to assume the child feels the exact same way! Although many hide behind a facade, but the damage is clear to someone who understands the abuse of #PAS.
When a child cannot accept or is not willing to accept they have been abused then that says so much about the extent of the psychological damage done to that child. Obviously there will always be children who have good reason to be cautious when getting back in touch with their alienated parent but you can almost guarantee if a Father is reaching out to their alienated child it is out of love. Whereas the alienating parent does not do this #PASAbuse out of love but out of revenge for being rejected by the alienated parent usually. They see a Father as a disposable element in the child’s life. They have no real value and can be swapped and changed as often as they change their partners. How many Dads can a child have? The answer is in fact one! They can have step-dads but only one real Dad, one biological Dad who they are totally connected to by DNA. When a Father loves his child and wants to be a part of their child’s life no matter what, you can safely say the child is being seriously abused by keeping them away from their loving parent.
This is not going to be removed from society quickly but the last few weeks have given me so much hope, not for my own daughter but for so many loving Dads getting contact and Judges seemingly understanding the games these #PASAbusers are playing. It really is still pot luck on which Judge you get but the more we talk and write about the informed Judges, the more the uninformed ‘conned’ Judges will seek to educate themselves on #PAS. In this last week I have known three Dads reunited with their children after many years apart. I have seen many dads get contact and the Judges have been strong and direct with the #PASAbuser which is of course what they need to do. I often talk about ‘Justice to Prevail’ and the ‘Tide is Turning’ but you know I actually think it is happening.
The best advice my Fiancee and I give to Dads we are helping, is to remain calm and focused on the child’s rights. This my Fiancee says she gets from the way I am, naturally calm. Calm and totally child focused and this has to be the way forward. Sometimes it is purely a few exchanges of emails or messages but if it helps another child to be reunited with a parent they love, if you can take away the alienation, then that has to be a good thing! Because if the courts can control the alienator then the child will repair given they have positive contact with their alienated parent. The problem arises when the courts do not deal with the alienator for the child to begin the process to repair!
We are available and happy to help. Hope will always live here!